Be Here Now

I wonder what makes me want to do a blog again after all these years.  The last time I wrote regularly was during our life changing five months in Rome.  I was a Visiting Scholar at the American Academy and Kim was feverishly studying Italian so we could get around in a place where spoken English was the exception not the rule.  In my fading memory, I can recall doing an engaged time that involved touring, learning, eating fantastic food, and in general staying very busy and using every second to get the most out of our unique and highly intellectual experience. 

It is hard to believe that we came home to Sonoma and San Francisco in early February of 2006.  If eight years could go any faster we wouldn’t have much more time on this planet.  Maybe the earth is traveling faster.  In any case, I am back to my blog which gave me so much pleasure eight years ago. 

I am thinking about how it feels to get older and what I am able to do to stave off my mind from thinking about it too much.  So one of the paths I am repeating to myself is to try and find the ability to compartmentalize so that I can make every moment count.  One example is a coming hip replacement.  From a history point of view, I have gotten my monies worth from the replacements of both of my real hips over 18 years ago.  These appliances are supposed to give us about 15 to 20 years and I am right in the middle.  I must admit, I never thought about a replacement when I had the first hips inserted.  It all felt so good, no more arthritic pain, squash came back into my life, and I could once more walk without pain.  Now I remember what I was feeling - some pain everyday and sometimes lots of pain.  So, after putting this new situation off for over a year, I am forced to have my right hip done again and the left one will follow unless I leave this mortal plain.  I have scheduled the first surgery for November 10^th. 

So now the rationale for my word, compartmentalize.  Because I do not want the operation to weigh on me for the next couple of months, I will compartmentalize.  I do not need to think about this event for a while and my plan is not to let it interfere with anything that is going on in my current life.  I include trying to play all my games, take a vacation, do my work and even try to be nice at the same time.  That is probably the hardest part as chronic pain makes you not the nicest person in the world. 

So what will my technique be for this rationalization?  For me it will have to be something from the Buddhist tradition.  I will rely on meditation and my  favorite saying to myself, “Be here now” and always be mindful of how lucky I am to “Be here now.”  It is not as simple as it sounds because I must admit, I can be pretty depressed by pain and circumstance.  Nevertheless, for the next few months, I am going to try and lose a couple of pounds (makes the recovery easier) and be in a good mood.  I will attempt to complete my tasks with a smile and throw in an occasional Scotchola just for the fun of it.  I hope I have much more to say, but unlike my Roman blog which was long on daily activities, I’m hoping to keep this one short enough that somebody reads it.